What I Wish More Women Knew About Getting Older

In just a few days, I’ll be 75 years old...and honestly, that number still surprises me.

Not because I feel old (I don’t), but because there were so many things I didn’t know about getting older. There are so many things I wish someone had told me.

This is my (almost) 75-year-old self, photo taken by my 10-year-old granddaughter, Ella 

Here’s what I know for sure: Aging is not something to fear. It’s a privilege. It’s a time of stepping into your power, shedding old expectations, and finally...finally...living for you.

I wish more women knew that. I wish we didn’t waste so much time doubting ourselves, waiting for permission, or holding back our voices.

Because at some point, whether you’re ready or not, a switch flips.

It’s the moment when you realize you are done with being spoken to with disrespect, swallowing your words just to keep the peace, and staying quiet to avoid looking “difficult.”

And here’s what I wish more women knew: People respect you more when you start speaking your truth.

Damn, I wish I had known this sooner.

1. Know how to say no. And don’t give in.

For too many years, I didn’t know how to say no. I tolerated the exasperated tones, the dismissive responses, the moments that left me questioning myself. What did I do wrong? Did I say the wrong thing? Why are they upset with me?

Like so many women, I was raised to be nice. To avoid conflict. To make sure no one ever saw me as angry or, heaven forbid, a “bitch.”

But here’s the secret: We don’t have to be quiet. We don’t have to make ourselves smaller. And if we don’t speak up, we won't be taken seriously.

This is me at 14 years old. What I wish she had back them were the tools of how to say no 

Looking back, I see how often I froze in moments when I should have spoken up. I remember being 16 when my piano teacher—a well-respected professor—leaned in to kiss my cheek. I felt repelled and nervous, but I said nothing. Who was I to question him? He was my teacher.

Did I tell anyone? No. I brushed it off like it didn’t matter. Because I had never been taught how to say...That is not okay. Don’t do that.

And this is why I want my granddaughters to know how to say no.
I want all women to know how to say no.

2. Don’t wait.

For anything.

If you have a dream, don’t wait for permission or for someone else to encourage you. Just go for it.

I used to think that taking care of myself was a luxury. Even when I was exhausted...raising two teenage boys while working full-time...the idea of getting a massage or taking a break didn’t even cross my mind. Because I didn’t know my own worth.

Now? I refuse to live with regret.

Life is short. Too short to keep waiting...to take the trip, write the book, and say yes to something exciting.

I remember a time when I hesitated because I almost missed the chance to go up in a seaplane with my grown children. But I got a second chance, and I took it.  And oh, the fun, the unforgettable experience I would have missed if I had kept playing it safe. You can read about how I overcame my fears and get three tips on listening to your inner wisdom. Go HERE to read.

3. Speak up. Stay strong. Stay hopeful.

We live in a world that is chaotic, on fire, where it’s easy to feel discouraged..., rights being stripped away, leaders who lie, and a culture that still tries to silence women or dismiss us as too emotional, too demanding, or too much. But this is exactly why our voices matter now more than ever.

Women have always been the ones to hold families together, nurture communities, and fight for what’s right...whether it was the right to vote, to work, to make decisions about our own bodies, or to create a more just world. We cannot afford to give up.

I wish more women knew how powerful their voices are…not just in the big moments but in everyday life. Speaking up at the dinner table, setting boundaries at work, calling out injustice, encouraging another woman to take up space...every time we use our voices, we shift the world just a little bit more in the right direction. And that’s how change happens.

This is not the time to shrink. It’s time to rise.

 This is my 5-year-old self. I wish she had known that she could be spunky with hands on hips all the time and that she didn't have to be a people pleaser 

As we age, we grow wiser, less reactive, and more grounded. That doesn’t mean we won’t get outraged or appalled by injustice...it means we know how to channel that energy into something meaningful.

Women are problem solvers. We listen first. We care about relationships. We have an intuition that doesn’t always make sense to others, but we know what we know.

And here’s what I know at 75:

We are powerful beyond measure—if we let go of all the conditioning that tells us to be small, nice, perfect.

That’s true power.

And I hope every woman finds it.

Over to you

If this post resonated with you, share it with another woman who needs to hear this today. Let’s remind each other of our power, our voices, and the unstoppable force that we are.

And if you’re ready to step fully into your power and let go of self-doubt, I’d love to support you. My coaching, therapy, small groups, and programs are designed for women just like you...women who are done holding back and ready to embrace this next chapter with confidence. Learn more here