When I first heard about self-love, I couldn't help but chuckle. It seemed like a punchline in a joke. After all, aren't we taught to prioritize others above ourselves from a young age?
Be selfless, not selfish... that's the narrative I grew up with, especially as a woman.

Reflecting on my upbringing, I realized that the women in my life, though remarkable in so many ways, rarely exemplified self-love. They epitomized giving, always putting others' needs before their own. And so, naturally, I followed suit.

We know that self-care goes right along with self-love. But why is it so hard? 

Years ago when my first coach asked me what I do for self-care, I stumbled to think of some words to say to her and silently thought, "What the hell is she talking about?"

I thought a lot about that question, feeling perplexed and a bit resistant.

Breaking free from the ingrained belief that self-love equated to selfishness wasn't easy.

But then came the epiphany…by nurturing myself,...

"Do the thing you think you cannot do: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."   Eleanor Roosevelt

Traveling alone as a woman can be an exhilarating and transformative experience. 

It offers a unique opportunity to discover the world on your terms, pushing your boundaries and gaining a profound sense of self-reliance. 

In this blog post, we'll explore my journey traveling alone, highlighting the empowering aspects and offering tips for a safe and enjoyable solo adventure.

Empowerment through Independence

I had traveled alone in Europe, but it had been many years. I was nervous, scared, and aware that I’d make all the decisions by myself…a thing that always makes me nervous.

My solo adventure was for only two days. I left the friends I’d been traveling with for two weeks in Greece and flew to Rome.  I‘d booked a room near the Vatican. The host had...

Recently when I was in Hawaii, I talked to my friend, Emily Emmons, who is one of the most get-things-done kind of women I know.

She started a nonprofit called Hoʻōla Farms in 2015 to teach military veterans, first responders, their families, caregivers, and the community how to grow healthy food. With her guidance and drive, it's now grown into a farm, and a commercial kitchen, and also provides an array of training and hands-on experiences. 

She has done all of this in hopes of creating a more sustainable future and well-being for all. If you're looking for a worthwhile organization to support this would be it! You can read about this amazing organization here. 

No one is coming to save us

Emily has been scrappy with finding money to fund all of these programs as she started with nothing back in 2015.

She knows that climate change is affecting our food supply so she's finding a way to make a difference because she cares. She knows that the...

We all start out curious, unedited. 

We don’t worry about what our bodies look like.  

We know how to eat when we’re hungry and we don't care what anyone thinks of how we dance.

We know how to play without holding back. 

We trust ourselves. 

And then, things change

Well-meaning parents correct their children, wanting them to be their best but what children hear is something else. The child begins to question herself. 

When I was young, I started picking up on messages that I needed to act a certain way because it was really important what others thought of me. 

My young brain heard..."other’s opinions matter more than what I think of myself." 

This version of me at 17 believed that if she was friendly and popular that everyone would like her. 

It was easy for her because that was her nature...friendly and open. 

She knew without being told that it wasn't nice to say things that might upset someone or make them...

My mother told me something a little startling when I asked for a pair of red panties. 

I was 9 years old.

She said, “only bad women wear red panties.”

I  was puzzled by what she meant by "bad women" but whatever it was I figured, I didn’t want to be a bad woman.

Where did we get this label...bad women?

I remember my aunt told me that her parents said "no" when she wanted to be a nurse. They wouldn’t allow it and explained that “respectable” women weren't nurses.

I wondered about that, too.  

Instead, my Aunt Billie stood, at the age of 16, right beside my grandfather who was a pharmacist at Hatcher's Drugstore in a tiny little town in South Georgia. 

Aunt Billie worked alongside my grandfather, filling prescriptions as a compounding pharmacist. There were far less regulations then and so she was allowed to do this. 

She had learned from her father how to fill prescriptions. So, even more, confusing...

 "When our souls are tired, we don't need sleep, we need to get away and just be.”

It happens to all of us. We push and push and grind, and the truth is, we don't always take the best care of ourselves. Soul exhaustion creeps up, and then it's time to address our self care in a big way.

How Do I Know If My Soul Is Tired?

Have you ever felt a weariness that seems to seep into your very bones?

It's a kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can't cure because it's a profound sense of fatigue that envelopes your entire being.

Even a full night's sleep can leave you feeling drained of energy and lacking motivation. Excitement for life feels far from grasp.

It's a scenario many of us are all too familiar with. Some call it "soul tired."

When we're exhausted, our body is working hard to just keep up with the daily tasks. When our brains are tired, we can't put anything else in.

This is where I was. Totally blah. Tired and wired. Sick of everything. No pizazz. Dull.

Soul Exhaustion...

Read the article and follow me on Medium.

Read the article and follow me on Medium. 

Read the article on Medium: 

https://medium.com/@johatcher/privileged-and-safe-reflecting-on-my-childhood-in-the-south-c31b39d55fbd