What your grandmother really wanted you to know but she couldn't say

self-care self-love Mar 31, 2022

I was raised by a very strong mother and an even stronger grandmother. They did everything. My mother ran a business with my father, took care of him after he had a nervous breakdown, paid the bills, and parented the kids pretty much on her own. 

I don’t remember seeing her take a break except when she worked in our backyard, growing flowers or planting cuttings from someone else’s garden. She was ALWAYS busy. 

Her mother, my grandmother, was equally busy but she had a different style. 

As a farmer's wife, "MaMa,"(as we lovingly called her) milked the cow, churned butter, washed clothes for our family, prepared special meals for my grandfather, and always baked a cake on the weekend for Sunday "dinner" as well as cooking a huge spread for the whole family. 

In addition to each full day, she would drive over to her sister-in-law's house. Aunt Angie was bedridden with rheumatoid arthritis and MaMa would drive to her house to take her a meal, cut her...

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Blind spots that you need to know are impacting your self-care

self-care self-love Mar 24, 2022

When it comes to working on self-care, all of us have different aspects of ourselves that we aren’t fully aware of. It could be personality traits, feelings, or actions.

These blind spots can really hamper our self-care efforts. This is why it's so important to become fully aware of them. Let's look at some of the most common blind spots you may discover with making sure your self-care is in place. 

You avoid conflict

A lot of people hate conflict, but sometimes it's needed to resolve situations. If you tend to avoid conflict, it means you’ll often do or say things you don’t necessarily agree with. This is a common blind spot that can really derail your self-care efforts.

The trouble is, when you give in to others just to avoid conflict, it reduces your credibility. You’ll also find you are frequently miserable due to not standing firm in your own beliefs and values. So, if your blind spot is avoiding conflict, it’s important to address...

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How to remember our humanity in a dark world

overcoming challenges Mar 18, 2022

This morning I walked outside and noticed a sunflower blooming right beside my mailbox. What in the world? Sunflowers don't bloom in March. I thought about how the birds must have scattered the seeds from their feeder in the backyard to the front. 

And just like that, I thought of it. I realized that sunflower came up for a reason. 

I'm imagining you're like me...horrified at the war in the Ukraine and the atrocities that are happening every day. 

And if you're like me...you feel helpless and powerless. What can we do?

Sheltered from the horrors of war

I'm eternally grateful I'm not trying to escape to another country or wondering if I'll survive another explosion. 

And I feel guilty.  

I wake up in my comfortable bed every morning imagining what it would be like to leave my home with basically the shirt on my back. I try to imagine walking for miles in the freezing cold, fleeing for my life to another country, and wondering where I could end up. ...

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Surviving one of the biggest earthquakes recorded in history

On March 9, 2011, I was ticked off that I was unable to celebrate my birthday the way I wanted. I was finishing up my work as a military life consultant on an Air Force base in Japan. I realize now what a champagne problem that was...to have a stressful day on my birthday. 

Two days later I would experience one of the strongest earthquakes ever recorded in history. 

As I huddled inside the door frame that Friday afternoon on March 11, I tried not to panic.

I walked up the outside steps to the 2nd floor of a building on the Air Force base where I’d been working for the past three months. 

Immediately, I was met by four women whose faces were panic-stricken. “It’s an earthquake!” they shouted. I tried to calm myself. But I immediately felt nervous and scared. 

It took a second, and then I felt the scary, unnatural sensation of the building rocking and shaking. I HATE EARTHQUAKES.  I've been in...

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Big Signs You Need To Make ChangesĀ 

If you’re struggling to make healthier changes in your life, it could be that you’re not convinced a change is needed. Many of us are also great at avoiding change. It tends to be something we dread, rather than look forward to. 

However, if you want to live your best life, it’s imperative you recognize when a change is needed. So, how exactly can you recognize that change is needed in your life? Below, you’ll discover some of the common signs to look out for.

You feel lost or stuck in life

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut and you’ve lost your purpose? This is a sure sign that a change is needed. Everyone has a purpose, but it isn’t always easy to identify it. Also, your purpose can change as you get older and go through life’s experiences. So, if you feel like your life isn’t your own anymore, it’s time to make a change. 

Your mood is consistently flat

Another sign change is needed is if you find your mood...

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How To Make Personal Self-Care A Priority With A Busy Life

One of the most difficult challenges many people face with self-care is finding the time to fit it in. When you live a busy lifestyle, it can seem almost impossible to find extra time to look after yourself.

So, how can you balance practicing self-care with a busy lifestyle? Here, you’ll discover some great tips you can follow.

Schedule it in

A good tip you can follow to ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine is to schedule it in. Think about it, you schedule in everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are much more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for self-care somewhere in your schedule.

Establish a morning routine

If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning. If you’re a busy parent, you might disagree here but think about it. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15...

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3 Reasons Why We Fail At Practicing Self-Care

self-care self-love Feb 17, 2022

Even when you know how important self-care is to your wellbeing, it isn’t always easy to incorporate it into your daily routine. In fact, did you know many people fail when it comes to taking care of themselves?

Let’s look at why people generally fail when it comes to self-care and the main things holding them back.

Self-care is often perceived as selfish

One of the main reasons people fail to take care of themselves is because they feel it’s selfish. It could be that you feel guilty when you take time to focus on yourself. Or you may worry what other people think or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.

It is a total myth that self-care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse, and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. You’ll also show your children the importance of self-care. Teaching them to take care of their...

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10 Tiny Decluttering Steps You Can Take Today

Clearing your clutter is a great form of self-care because all of the things no longer serving you are draining your energy and affecting your health.

If you take tiny steps to let go of excess stuff, you can make space for things you do want in your life.  

If you’ve been procrastinating on a home decluttering project, chances are that the reason behind your hesitation is feeling overwhelmed or just not knowing where to start. Those things can trip anyone up on the road to organization. When you find yourself stuck in a pattern of avoidance, the best method to change that pattern is to start with small tasks. Even doing just one little thing is progress.

To help you along your way, consider one of these dozen tiny decluttering steps you can take today. 

Clear Just One Surface

Clear your kitchen table. If that’s too overwhelming, choose a segment of your countertop. Make it a surface you see daily, and be sure to keep it spotless. 

Empty...

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Lies We Tell Ourselves About Letting Go Of Things

There are so many reasons why we don’t let go of our stuff. 

You know what I’m talking about…The things in our closets and drawers and our homes that don’t bring us joy, the things we don’t use, and the things that we’ve totally forgotten about. 

The THINGS that are clogging up and draining our energy. 

Here are just some of the lies we say to avoid clearing our clutter and letting go of it. 

  1. I’ll sell it later and make some money
  2. I paid so much for it, I can’t let it go
  3. I might need it someday
  4. I’ll start decluttering next weekend
  5. That was a gift so I have to keep it (even though I don’t really like it). 
  6. Clutter doesn’t affect me that much 

I’ll sell it later & make some money

We keep things aside to sell on sites like eBay, Craigslist, or Amazon Marketplace but then the stuff just sits around in our homes for weeks or months because of the time and effort required to...

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How To Tackle The Shame Of Clutter

I grew up in a home where if we discovered we had a guest coming to our house, it was a big deal. What was never really said out loud was that we couldn’t let them in the door until “the house was clean”.  We'd run around madly “cleaning” the house before a visit. 

Living in a cluttered home

Now I realize our house wasn’t actually dirty, it was just cluttered.

Our upstairs attic was filled with all the things that had been basically dumped there because no one seemed to know what to do with the stuff and we couldn't possibly throw any of it away. Because the unspoken rule was “we might need it someday.”

The thing I realize now is that no one talked about “it.” The clutter.  

Growing up with clutter

I grew up thinking everyone’s home was like this and that you just didn’t throw anything away. We had clutter everywhere and didn't think it was a problem. We just moved stuff around and hid...

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